We made it! Valentine’s Day is history!…for this year. Now what? As you read in “24 Shades of Love” my husband and I pay careful attention to our relationship. Perhaps this is because we are older, wiser and have experienced life a little longer. We have learned that nothing is more important than keeping your relationships healthy. There is one book that comes to mind when I think of healthy relationships and it’s called, “5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.
Not only does it impact how we see each other, but how we see others. There is a book for couples, men, singles, military and even the love languages of your children.
Here are some scenarios to think about in reference to relationships.
Have you ever been around someone and their feelings get hurt easily because he or she did not receive a gift ?
A friend or relative didn’t get an “atta boy” on the back? Maybe you didn’t say thank you to a certain individual and that really upset them!
Finally, what if your wife cleaned the entire house and you came home and didn’t notice it? Now, she is really upset with you. Plus, you forgot to take her car to get it serviced and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back!
These are all examples of how we are different. There is a way, that will take effort, to understand and to remedy these relationships. It’s called understanding each other’s Love Language… knowing how to keep the Love Tank full. We all have Love Languages and when they aren’t met, then our tank starts to get depleted.
Stan and I took the test and we are purposeful about going out of our way to meet each other’s needs. The results of the test are as follows:
Here are mine listed in order – 1. Quality Time, this is not with just with Stan. I want Quality Time with anyone that I feel close to. I would rather have an experience with you than receive a gift. I rated a nine on this. Extremely important! 2. Acts of Service, I rated a seven on this, not as important as Quality Time but still important. I’ve had a laptop that was being difficult for probably a year now. Stan fixed it today! Ding! Ding! Fuel in my tank!! 3. Words of Affirmation, I need reassured and told that I’m doing a great job and that I’m special, that I’m a great wife or mom. I rated a five on this and on the next one which is Touch. 4. Touch, this ranks a little lower on my list. I enjoy holding hands and being touched, but I don’t need it often. This probably stems from my childhood where a loving touch was nonexistent. 5. Receiving Gifts. Gifts are nice, but not a big deal to me. My husband and I rarely buy each other gifts. It rated a two. Yes, that is really low; however, I do tell Stan that if he wants to buy me more diamonds, or more camera equipment, I will not turn them down!
Let’s take a quick look at Stan’s love languages and their rankings- 1. Touch! He rated an eleven on that. This is VERY high in comparison to me!! This may cause issues if we aren’t careful. 2. Quality Time, he rated ten, which is great for us as a couple. I’ll explain in next week’s blog why. 3. Words of Affirmation, again he rated well for us as a couple 4. Acts of Service, he rated a three. 5. Yes, last and least he rated a one for Receiving Gifts. Another great score for use as a couple!
You’re probably thinking why are love languages significant to our personal relationships operating properly? In the next post, I will reveal how this works in more detail! Sign up to receive my blog so that you don’t miss it!!